Over The Shoulder ......

Oh, hello there ladies and gents!  Long time no see! 
Today I am making my comeback with quite a debatable topic..... bras! 

Also known as over the shoulder bolder holders, boobie harness, titslinger, puppy blankets, flopper stopper, and the usual, brassiere.

For most women, you can walk into any store that carries women's intimates and simply find a cute, comfortable, flattering bra in your size, right?   I mean for goodness sake, even Walmart carries bras from a 30A up to a 46DDD!  You'd think, "goodness, what a great deal!  Grocery shop then run over to the panties section and pick me up a new titslinger while I'm at it!"
Well, the unfortunate news is, There are a lot more women that CAN'T just buy a bra wherever!

And this is where I get baffled.  You would think, the larger the breasts, the more need you would have for a bra.... (demand) which would in turn make you think that the stores that sell such products, would cater to these women, like myself, with tata's so large, you kinda HAVE to wear a bra...(supply).  So why is it that if I were to wear a 38C, I can walk into any store and find numerous bras in my size in all shapes, colors, and designs.  But when I go bra shopping, its like an excursion!  I have to go to the "specialty" stores and spend damn near an arm and a leg for a bra that isn't going to last but a year because my F size boobs are going to wear the sucker out!  Oh that price tag!  It's enough to make you wanna just go all prehistoric and let the girls flop!  I'll get to that later in the blog though.
I, being a happy 42 F, sometimes larger depending on the bra make, end up shopping for hours trying to find 1, just one bra!  One bra that not only did I spend WAY too much on, its unreliable, not really comfortable, looks like I should be either old, or breastfeeding in, and really has no pzazz!  I mean,  I am 24 years old.... I want a cute, flirty, low cut, supportive, small straps, decent priced bra!  Is that too much to ask for!?
With all these women going out and getting breast augmentation and fake boobies, come on, there is a HUGE market for bigger bras in ALL stores!   We have a society of women with already large boobs and department stores full of bras for people that aren't so well endowed.  No offense ladies.  But if I have B or C boobs, shit, I doubt I would ever wear a bra.  I would let my perky wonders float around like some kinda star!  hahahaha
Then we have the women that really just can't go without a bra, like myself, having to make a damn trip across the world it sometimes seems, just to find one that is going to be good enough to wear a while.  I've known girls that have owned the same bras and wore them constantly for 5 to 10 years!  I can't even get one to last me a full 365 days!  Sheesh! 
To top it off, the bras for girls like me at a 42 F are aesthetically unappealing for the most part!  I don't want no wire because then my fat under my arms becomes part of my boobs on the side.... I don't want 3 inch wide straps because I like wearing tank tops and other articles of clothing that I can't stand my bra strap showing through.  I don't want the "pointy boob" effect.  It looks just weird to me.  I don't want the bra to cover everything damn near up to my neck, that's just uncomfortable.  I don't want cheap material that the first wash, it starts to tear.  I don't want my underwire to poke into my armpit after owning the damn thing for only 6 months. 
Seriously!  Is that too much to ask?!

I recently purchased 2 bras from Kohls, not because I really liked the way they looked, I didn't try them on, I ordered them online simply because they were a good price.  I spent $62 on two bras, and some of you will understand when I say, that is the cheapest 2 bras I have ever owned!  They are comfortable, don't get me wrong, but one of them is a wirefree, which is fine for around the house or to bed, but I wouldn't wear it in public.  The other is what I like to call a " I'm married" bra.  Which again, is fine, because I am getting married in January and all.  But it would be really nice to find the cute bras that I used to be able to wear in middle school, now, when I have large boobs that need the extra attention.

I know a lot of you plus size women shop at Lane Bryant, Avenue, Fashion Bug, Cato, and Ashley Stewart.  I am going to do some price comparison here and let you all in on my frustration of bra shopping.  Okay?  Great!  Here we go....
We will start with

 Lane Bryant! 

The bras that fit right and comfortable on me from Lane Bryant are in the price range of $42-$58 a piece.....  A PIECE!   That's over $20 a cup!  I just find it ridiculous.  Unless you catch one of their major sales, you are going to be spending way upwards of $100 on a minimum of 2 bras, because we all know nobody buys just one bra. 
The quality of the bras doesn't match the price of them though.  I have been wearing LB bras since I was about 14 years old, so the better part of a decade.  I usually don't own them any longer than a year and a half because of a few major malfunctions.  A.The underwire ALWAYS comes out, B. The material between the boobs always seems to rip, C. The straps fray and loose elasticity.  No I do not put my bras in the dryer either.  So that isn't acceptable to me.  If I am spending that much on a bra, I want to know I am going to get my moneys worth.  Now, LB usually does have super cute bras, but what they fail to tell you is, SURPRISE!, all the ones you want and like for $38 only go up to a 42DDD and your boobs won't even stay in them most of the time because they are heavily padded....  Just what someone with huge tits needs, a heavily padded bra....  Seriously?

Avenue
I started shopping with Avenue because they had cute clothes for a reasonable price for plus size.  They have a pretty small selection on bras compared to some places, but their pricing is not too bad.  There standard wire bras start at just $30.  BUT, they have no patterns, bad quality, just unappealing, and they only go to a cup size DDD....

Starting to see a trend???

Fashion Bug
This one is a bit irrelevant because I only shop here for clothes.  They do have bras but you'd be better off buying one used at Goodwill than at this store.  So FYI, don't go in here looking for a bra because you just aren't going to find one unless you are a D or below....
On to the next...

Cato
You know, for a store that is supposed to cater to the plus size woman, they sure did a shanty job with their bra selection....  There stores usually only have bras that go up to a size 40DDD.  When I was able to wear that size, I bought one for the low low price of $19.99.  Boy was that a mistake!  It was shredded, underwire falling out, and for some reason, turning a different color within 2 months.  Bad idea!

Ashley Stewart
Now AS has this really cool consept bra called the Butterfly Bra!  The concept of this bra is to keep the girls UP and the back fat down!  The only issue is it is bulky and the underwire is like wearing a corset, which I like, but most women don't.

 

   Now you will notice, this is a very different bra.  The straps are wide at the top to keep from digging in, but small on the back. It also has 2 closures.  I like to wear this bra under a very covered dress or something of the sorts, but for me , It's not an every day wearer type of bra.  The plus side is they do usually have a lot of great sales so they aren't extremely unreasonable. 

But this brings me to my conclusion.  What is it going to take to get regular department stores to start carrying bras that women actually need?  Or maybe I need to invent and create my own line of bras and open my own nation wide store because I am tired of having to play the "bra roadtrip" and needing a savings account strictly for the purchase of a new bra!  I want cute, fitting, lasting, quality, feel good bra that women with large tatas WANT to wear and WANT to buy!  

We need to start a I LOVE MY BRA movement!  

What do you think gals?

Oh and here are the links for all the stores listed above!

Lane Bryant

Avenue

Cato

Ashley Stewart

Thank a ton for reading!  Be sure to comment, like, and share! 

Medicine Cabinet or Kitchen?

Hi again blog followers!  It's wonderful to be back after a, much too long, absence!
Today I would like to make the blog comeback and discuss home remedies!  You know, the alternative to taking a pill for everything!  We will discuss ways to cure ailments, safely, quickly, and EFFICIENTLY, at home!

I found a great site, in which I will reference many times in this blog, you should all check out
www.prevention.com
There is some great information on the site that I think everyone could use!

So here it is guys and gals, lets talk about 20 NATURAL home remedies!

1. Ginger-
Lets say you go out for a nice seafood dinner after a successful day at work!  After you get home, you begin to realize your stomach is quite upset.  Was it something you ate?  Food poisoning?  Instead of running for the pepto, maybe you should try something more natural for your body!  Ginger!
How to use- Infuse fresh ginger in hot water, strain, then freeze small pieces in an ice cube tray.  When you are feeling nausea, break up a cube and let it melt in your mouth.  You will find that the ginger will soothe the stomach quickly!  Also, pregnant women can use this to help with morning sickness without having to harm their child with OTC medicines!

2. Sugar-
Everyone gets those pesky hiccups from time to time!  Hiccups are caused by an irritated nerve which causes the spasms of the diaphragm.  Try a tablespoon or two of dry sugar!
How to use-  When you get the hiccups, instead of holding your breath or attempting to drink a glass of water upside down, just grab a teaspoon of dry granulated sugar!  This will calm the nerve and to top it off, you finally get to use the phrase "A spoonful of sugar" !!!

3. Garlic-
It's the season for sore throats.  Between the flu outbreak and, I know my Texas friends, the ever-changing weather we have here, it's only a matter of time before you too will have a sore throat.  Fresh garlic juice has antimicrobial properties that have been proven to fight pain-causing bacteria.
How to use- Take 6 pressed garlic cloves and mix into a glass of warm (not hot) water.  Gargle twice daily with solution for three days.  Your throat will be back to normal in no time!
ALSO, garlic is great for toothaches!  Chew on a fresh clove of garlic when you have a sore tooth and see what happens!

4. Dark Chocolate-
Ever had a cough that just wouldn't go away?  Did you know research has found chocolate's theobromine compound is more effective than codeine at suppressing a persistent cough.  Also, you don't have to worry about any side effects such as drowsiness and constipation!
How to use- Indulge in a square or two of dark chocolate!  All you have to do is eat it!
other cures for cough- try some honey.  Honey will coat the throat and prevent the "tickling" feeling that makes you cough!

5. Linden Flower Tea-
When you are feeling a high fever Linden tea works better, and safer, than any OTC medicine.  Linden flower tea works in two ways.  First, it stimulates the hypothalamus to better control your temperature.  Second, it dilates blood vessels, inducing sweating.  
How to use-  Seep 1tablepoon of dried linden flower (which can be found at most health food stores) in a cup of hot water for about 15 minutes.  Drink three to four cups a day.


6. Aloe Vera-
Everyone has burnt themselves one way or another before!  Whether it was from laying out too long in the sun, or that damn oven mitt that slipped out of your hand just as you reached the cookie sheet!  Most of us already know about this natural cure, aloe vera!  It will not only soothe the burnt area, it holds an anti-inflammatory aspect that will ease the burning pain.  Aloe vera creates a second skin to protect it from the air which will irritate exposed nerve endings.
How to use- You can buy aloe vera in a bottle from most any store, but I prefer to keep my own aloe vera plant to ensure it is all natural.  If you have a bottle, simply spread a thin layer over affected area and let dry, apply as needed.  If you are using aloe from a plant, simply break off a piece of the aloe vera and cut open, smooth over affected area and let dry, apply as needed.

7. Peppermint-
Did you know peppermint kills bacteria that causes bloating and relaxes gastrointestinal muscles for smoother, spasm-free digestion?  It can help for everything from flatulence to bloating!  Not only can you use plain peppermint, at most health food stores you can find enteric-coated peppermint capsules.  Enteric coating prevents the capsules from opening in the stomach and increasing discomfort by causing heartburn and indigestion.  The peppermint will work through your system and focus lower in the gastrointestinal tract.
How to use- Take (500mg capsules) three times daily.

8. Vinegar (or Black Tea)-
I know some people with some pretty stinky feet, and I am sure we all do!  That one guy who never wears socks, or the other dude who doesn't seem to know what a shower is!  Regardless of the cause, lets find a cure!  Smelly feet are caused by the odoriferous bacteria.  Vinegar and black tea will not only prevent and cure foot odor, it will close the pores in your feet, keeping the feet dry which will keep bacteria away!
How to use-  Soak feet in 1 part vinegar and 2 parts water once daily.  Or take a daily foot bath in strong black tea (COOL IT FIRST OF COURSE!) for 30 minutes.

9. Lemon-
This remedy will help cut a cold short!  It is sort of a faux hot toddy!  Lemon is rich in vitamin C.  Studies show that vitamin C taken before the onset of a cold shortens its duration and severity.  When used with raw honey, will help your cold and its symptoms.
How to use- Cut lemon in half, drop half into a cup, add boiling water and a teaspoon of organic raw honey (which is an immunity booster).  Breathe in the healing vapor to open sinuses and sip a cupful two or three times daily.
To make a traditional hot toddy, use same recipe but add a half shot (or two) of brandy.

10. Lemon Juice-
Forget to brush your teeth?  Are you a smoker?  Maybe you just have constant bad breath because you are full of shit? hahaha okay that was a joke!  At any rate, lemon juice is a great cure for odor-causing bacteria!  When paired with plain, unsweetened yogurt, your breath will be much fresher!  The lemon-yogurt combo instantly neutralizes odor and lasts 12 to 24 hours!  Better than any breath mint!
How to use- Gargle with a small cup of lemon juice then eat a bit of plain unsweetened yogurt.  BAM, instantly neutralized breath!

11.  Olive Oil-
I know I have a problem with dry, chapped lips.  No matter how much chap stick, lip balm, or whatever I put on, they still continue to be chapped, dry, and cracking.  Olive oil works as an anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, and moisturizer for lips!  Some research suggests that applying extra virgin olive oil to skin after sunbathing may help prevent skin cancer too!
How to use- Apply olive oil to lips two or three times a day to soothe, soften, and lubricate.  Your lips will feel better immediately.  But please note that it will take a few days before they begin to heal on their own.


12.  Hot Shower-
Yes, you read that right!  A simple hot shower!  Do you suffer with a stiff neck?  Perhaps you slept a bit wonky last night and your neck is just killing you?  A stiff neck is a result of slow circulation and lymph flow to muscle tissues.  Try using hydrotherapy!  A quick blast of hot water, then cold water.  This will get the blood pumping again.
How to use-  In the shower, first run hot water over neck for 20 seconds.  The hot water will increase blood flow.  Then switch to cold water for 10 seconds to constrict blood flow.  Alternate three times, be sure to always end with cold.  When you get out of the shower, your body will send the blood back out to the skin, which will result in a final dilation of blood vessels and a looser neck!  

13. Tennis Ball-
This is a strange one, and a new one to me!  I know many people who suffer with extreme snoring!  I am pretty sure it runs in my family, my dad, mom, brother, ME!, YES, I snore!  Snoring simply happens because you are not properly breathing in your sleep.  I find that I snore more when I sleep on my back.  Here's a quick, sort of funny, fix for a back sleeping snorer!
How to use- Put a tennis ball in a shirt pocket cut from an old t-shirt.  Sew it to the mid back of a tight pajama top.  The discomfort forces you to foll over and sleep on your side without waking you up.

14.  Cherries-
Having trouble sleeping?  Even after a hard days work, you are still finding it hard to relax enough to actually fall asleep.  Try some fresh, preferably organic, cherries!  Cherries are jam packed with melatonin, the same hormone created by your body to relax your muscles and your mind.  Also, a lavender filled pillow will induce sleepiness.
How to use- Before bedtime, eat a handful of cherries, then maybe try a hot bath to relax your muscles and your mind.  Lay on lavender pillow and 3, 2, 1, SLEEP!

15.  Black Tea Bags-
Women, here is one for your beauty regiment!  You know those puffy, tired eyes you get after a long night or one without enough sleep?  Try some black tea bags!  Black tea is full of astringent compounds called tannis that can help deflate and tighten the bags under your eyes.
How to use- Dip teabag in a cup of hot water and let set for several minutes.  Cool in fridge, then apply the damp bag as a compress to the closed eye for 10 minutes.


16.  Strawberries-
Look at your toothpaste, looking for whitening?  Look no further!  Strawberries have malic acid that helps buff coffee and red-wine stains from teeth!  Mixed with a pinch or baking soda (a stain remover) , this is a healthier, easier alternative to OTC tooth whitening kits that have all sorts of un-pronouncable words in them!
How to use- Crush a few fresh strawberries into a scrubbing pulp and mix with a pinch of baking soda and enough water to make a paste.  Apply mixture to a soft bristled toothbrush and polish for a few minutes once every three to four months.  

17.  Magnesium-
Head pounding, you can feel the pain behind your eyes, or maybe a sinus headache?  Don't go grabbing the Advil just yet.  Try relaxing magnesium to reduce the muscle tension and spasms that cause your noggin to throb.  Not just any type will do though.  Make sure the supplement contains at least 200 mg of active elemental magnesium.
How to use-  Take 200 to 400 mg of magnesium to prevent or cure a headache.  (found at any health or vitamin store)


18.  Vitamin B-
Out too long last night drinking?  You know that moment when you are aware you are going to wake up with a hangover tomorrow?  Here's a great way to prevent this from happening!  Excess alcohol depletes the body of essential B vitamins which can help break down alcohol in the body.  Before you go to bed, think about taking some B-50 complex.  This will ensure the metabolism of alcohol continues at a steady pace.  Also, be sure to drink plenty of water to rehydrate.
How to use- After drinking, take a B-50 complex supplement before bed followed by at least 8oz of water.



19.  Crampbark Tincture-
Here we go ladies!  One for the cramps!  Those damn muscle spasms during an already miserable week we have to live through.  Try some crampbark tincture (found at health or vitamin store in a dropper bottle).  Test studies show that this North American plant works as a muscle relaxer to quickly relieve menstrual cramps.
How to use-  Take 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of crampbark tincture every 2 hours on the days of your worst cramps.


20.  Oatmeal-
Ever heard the phrase "bathe in your breakfast"?  Well, now you have!  Oatmeal can heal dry skin, rashes, and eczema!  Although oatmeal is a centuries old skin soother, researchers only recently recognized the healing power of oats that calm inflamed, itchy skin, called avenanthramides.
How to use- Put whole oats in a clean, dry sock.  Seal the open end with a rubber band, and drop the sock into a warm or hot bath.  Soak yourself for 15 to 20 minutes.


There you go!  20 different home remedies to try instead of the leading over the counter medicines!  These are all natural, and much healthier and easier on your body to process.
So I challenge you all, if you have any of the symptoms listed in the blog today, first try a natural cure!  I know I have personally tried may of these with great results!  It is so much safer to use natural cures because these remedies are not aliens to your body!  They are as natural as it gets!
If anyone has any more great home remedies, please, feel free to share in the comments for everyone to see!

Thanks for reading!

Pro Ana My A$$

Hello again blog world!  I apologize for the delay in blogging!  I have been getting some life changing things together like a house! :D
I was watching the OZ show today.  No clue how it got turned on but I think it was a sign I need to blog because today's show was about Pro Anorexia movement. . .
You read that right!  PRO anorexia movement.  I can honestly admit that I cried the whole time watching the show.  I couldn't turn the channel.  Seeing these older and young women thinking that anorexia is the only way to be beautiful!   Dr. Oz even had a man who ran a pro-ana site to "help the women who suffer from anorexia talk about their issues" but yet the site is full of pictures of these 70lb grown women saying "this is beauty."

I had to go look up some of these pro-ana sites to fully understand the concept and was hoping that I could find something good from this "support" system.  Turns out, I didn't!  Instead, I was given this...

Thin Commandments

1) If you aren't thin, you aren't attractive
2) Being thin is more important than being healthy
3) You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, anything to make yourself look thinner
4) Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty
5) Thou shall not eat fattening food withoud punishing afterwards
6) Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly
7) What the scale says is the most important thing
8) Losing weight is good, gaining weight is bad
9) You can never be to thin
10) Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and success.

This is what these women are living by!  I want to try to ween through these "commandments" and see if I could better understand them.

1. If you aren't think, you aren't attractive.  Well, I am far from thin, but who can say this isn't beautiful?

I don't need anorexia to be beautiful!  I won't lie though.  I have been through every diet in the book.  I wasn't always happy in the skin God gave me.  I went through that part of life where I was never happy with myself.  I was fat and ugly and I used to think the only way I would be happy with myself is if I was thin and beautiful.  It wasn't until I realized that losing weight wasn't going to make me happy with myself, it was going to make others happy with me.  I realized that I can love me just the way I am!  Just because people are rude doesn't mean I am not a beautiful woman!  I am healthy, I have no diseases, I don't hurt, I don't worry about my weight, and honestly, I don't worry about anything but being happy!  If I am excited and confident in the way I look and feel, others will see that and change their rude minds!  I promise you that!  People can tell when you are confident in yourself.  Yes I get called fat but guess what, those who call me fat are awfully distraught when it doesn't affect me, and when their boyfriends want to talk to me after! 

2. Being thin is more important than being healthy.  Really?  I don't even know if I can morally discuss this one.  On the Oz show, there was a 30 year old woman who weighs 73lbs and eats about 300 calories a day from a feeding tube. . . THIS is more important than being healthy?  So what, now you are bone thin, your body aches, you can't enjoy food, and you can't possibly ever leave your house because of how SICK you are.  THIS is what women are looking forward to?  Call me crazy, but I enjoy being able to go out and have dinner and enjoy the company of friends and meet new people.  I'm not sure someone like this would be approachable!  

http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/dying-be-thin-meet-skinniest-women-america

This is a link to the video from Dr. Oz show.  Please do watch this.  Hopefully this could change someone's mind about not eating! 

3. You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, anything to make yourself look thinner.  Is it so bad that women can be happy in the body they were given?  Do you think I just woke up one day fat?  No!  I have been big my whole life.  I can't remember a time when I could have been considered "thin".  I think these anorexic women think so much about what others think about beauty, they forget it doesn't matter what others think, or what society says is beautiful.  Quite frankly, if society keeps this view of "beauty" we are all fucked, for lack of better word!  

4. Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty.  Sickening!  Why should you feel guilty for doing what you need to do as a human being to survive?  I can't even being to fathom this.  We were given the teeth to chew food, the system to digest it, and the tools to release the waste..... So what gives?  Why should you feel guilty for doing what you NEED to do?  There's a difference between calorie counting and starving.  Are these women aware they are killing more than their fat, they are losing their brain!  No, really!  They are killing their brain from not giving their bodies enough food to work! 

 

5. Thou shall not eat fattening foods without punishing afterwards.  So now, you enjoy a burger, then have to go cut yourself?  So not only will you have anorexia, you will have self mutilation problems too?  GREAT!  Everyone will really love you now!  Even when I diet, I don't get hard on myself when I eat something out of my calorie count.  This would be setting myself up for failure.  Of course you aren't going to be spot on dieting EVERY day.  Lunch dates happen!  You simply pick back up where you left off the day before.  I don't even want to discuss this one any further. 

6. Thou shall count calories and restrict calories accordingly.  Okay, counting calories and restricting calories is a touchy subject.  In most diets, like the one I am on now, yes, we restrict calories.  But there is a fine line between starving ones self and eating healthy.  I eat 1100 calories a day.  This is enough calories to keep my body moving and I am not constantly hungry.  These anorexic dieters are restricting to less than 300 calories a day.  This would be the equivalent to 6 pieces of melba toast and half an apple.  All day!  This is what they would eat in one day, if they are eating at all.  Then again, these foods probably have too many sugars so they most likely wouldn't eat them.  But regardless, this is not enough food for one to survive on each day.  

7. What the scale says is the most important thing.  This is the downfall in most diets.  The excessive weighing!  You shouldn't weigh yourself multiple times a day.  And definitely don't weigh yourself right after you eat!  This is common knowledge!  Of course the weight is going to be a little higher when you are full of food!  By weighing yourself constantly, you feel like you aren't making any progress.  The scale can be a great tool when it is used correctly.  

8. Losing weight is good, gaining weight is bad.  Now this may be the only "rule" I sort of agree with to a point.  Like I have said, I have done every diet in the book and then some and yes it is better to lose weight when you have enough to lose.  But gaining weight isn't always bad.  Sometimes if you are losing weight while working out you begin to gain a lb or two here and there from muscle weight.  Now in the case of anorexia, the more you lose, the worse off you are getting.  They make a healthy weight chart for a reason.  When you start getting 30, 40, even 100 lbs under your weight spectrum, is not acceptable at all!  

9. You can never be too thin.  I completely disagree!  When you can't function because you are so thin and frail, I would call that TOO thin.  Being a full grown adult and weighing under 80lbs would be TOO thin. 

10. Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and success.  Again, really?! I call that opposite of will power and success!  Not eating is more like giving into the disease.  Will power and success would be getting over anorexia!  They are telling people that THIS is a good success.  And they are believing because they are weak!  These women and men suffering from anorexia are reading these things and thinking they are doing the right thing!  

Now that I have disgusted myself even talking about this pro anorexia movement. . . I want to ask everyone. . . 

When does feeling good for and about yourself outweigh killing yourself to be "beautiful"? 

Let Go & Forgive

Sorry for the lack of blogs, but due to my current personal circumstances, today I would like to talk about letting go.

Letting go is never easy.  Whether it is letting go of a love interest, a good friend, a job, or even your family.  Sometimes it is the best way to come to peace with yourself, and help others realize what a meaningful asset you are.  We have all been hurt.  Maybe even treated badly, trust broken, hearts were crushed.  It is normal to feel the pain but, sometimes that pain lingers for too long and begins to take over our lives.  This causes us to be unhappy and can also ruin relationships, distract us from work, family, and other important things.  It can make us reluctant to open up to new things and people.  It's like you become trapped in a cycle of anger and hurt.  Before you know it, you are missing out on the beauty of life!  We need to learn to let go.  We need to be able to forgive, so we can move on and be happy.

Forgiveness can change your life.  It doesn't mean you erase the past or forget what has happened.  It doesn't even mean the other peron will change his/her behavior, you have no control of that.  It means you are letting go of the anger and pain, and moving on to a better, and happier, place.

It's never easy, but its not difficult to try!  Here are a few steps that may help in your path to letting go.

1.  Commit to letting go.  If you aren't committed, you are setting yourself up for failure.  You don't have to do it in a second, maybe not even a week, but make sure that you are willing to commit!  Commit to changing, because you recognize that the pain is hurting you and making you unhappy.

2. Think about the pros and cons.  What problems does this pain cause you?  Does it affect your work or family life?  Maybe it stops you from pursuing your dreams, or becoming a better person?  Does it cause you to be unhappy?  Think about all of these problems and realize that it is time to change!  Now, think of all of the benefits of forgiveness!  It will make you happier, free from your past and the pain, and it can even improve things with your relationships and life in general.

3. Realize you have a choice.  Whether we like it or not, we CAN'T control the actions of others.  So why should we try?  But, you can control your actions and your thoughts!  Stop reliving the hurt and pain and understand that it is your choice to move on.  You have this power!  You just need to learn how to exercise it.

4. Empathize.  I know we have all heard the saying "put yourself in that person's shoes.".  Do it!  Try to understand why the person did what he/she did.  You need to do with with a clear mind though!  Start from the assumption that the person isn't a bad person, but just did something wrong.  Ask yourself "what could he/she have been thinking? what could have happened to him/her in the past to make them do what they did?"  You aren't saying it is right, but are instead trying to understand and empathize.

5. Understand your responsibility.  Try to figure out how you could have been partially responsible for what happened.  Ask yourself if there was anything you could have done to prevent it and try to figure out how you can prevent it from happening again.  This is not to be confused with taking blame or taking responsibility away from the other person, but to realize that we are not victims but participants in life.

6. Focus on the present.  Now that you have reflected on the past, realize that THE PAST IS OVER!  It is no longer happening, it no longer exists anywhere but your mind.  Bring focus back to the present moment!  What are you doing now?  Find joy in what is happening right now.  If you do start thinking about the past, acknowledge it and gently bring yourself back to the present moment.

7.  Allow peace to enter your life!  A good technique as you focus on the present, try focusing on your breathing.  Imagine each breath going out is the pain and the past being released from your mind.  Each incoming breath is peace entering your body and filling you up!  Release the pain and the past.  Let peace enter your life and go forward!

8.  Feel compassion.  Finally, forgive the person.  You have to realize that in forgiveness, you are allowing yourself to be happy and let go.  Feel empathy for the person and wish happiness on them.  It may take some time.  If you're stuck on this point, try going back and repeating these steps to make sure you are ready to forgive and let go.

Remember, the longer you hold on, the more the unhappiness is going to intrude on your life.  You only live once, so take this chance to live the best, most happy, and fulfilling life you can!  Let go and forgive today!
I did and I feel a million pounds lifted off my chest!  I am happy, I am healthy, and I have let go!


"Peace.  It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."  -unknown

Have Your Cake, and EAT it Too!

We have all heard the phrase, "have your cake and eat it too", but what does that really mean?

 I don't think they are really telling me if I bake a delicious cake I can eat it all, eh?  But everyone interprets things differently!
Today, I want to talk about some healthy eating habits that I think everyone should at least try!
We live in an age FULL of fast food!  The faster, the better!  But then again, the faster, the more UNhealthy!  Yes, you can get a salad or a grilled sandwich from most all of these fast food joints, but is that REALLY a healthier option?  To be honest, even the salad meals at most fast food joints are just as unhealthy as that greasy burger that you wanted!
Fast Food Nutrition Chart
Above is the link to the fast food nutrition comparison chart.  You are going to be surprised at how "healthy" those "lo-carb" foods are!  Might as well have ordered the double cheese burger instead of the dry grilled chicken on hard bread right?!
Well, now that we know all the nutrition that is NOT in fast food, let's see if we can make some guidelines to follow, or at least think about, when we go out for that quick meal!
Luckily for us, most fast food restaurants now print the nutritional facts on the container of each meals but, come on now, who REALLY reads that stuff?

We all love burgers!  A nice juicy hamburger with fries and maybe even a shake?!  Hungry aren't you?  Lets think about when you order fast food.  What do you order?  A number 10, LARGE SWEET tea (usually soda for most), LARGE fries.  This one meal probably has enough calories to last you a whole day!  And enough fat to make you RUN from the scale!
Here are some tips that I found have worked for me when eating fast food, but still trying to stay healthy.

First off, you CAN'T eat fast food on a regular basis!  Plain and simple!  Yes, it is tasty, but do a little research on what is IN the food you are eating and I promise you are going to change your mind about some menu items you THOUGHT you loved!  Make it a treat!  Try to limit yourself to once a week at first if you are a heavy fast food eater.  Knowing that you only have ONE day that you can "splurge" will help you get out of the groove of only eating fast food.

One thing most people don't think of is their drink.  A regular size cup full of soda packs a whole lot of sugar and calories!  Try drinking water with your meal!  Just changing to water can save a lot of calories AND water will help your body better digest the food!  If you REALLY feel like you need a soda, go diet!  Also, try drinking 8oz of water before you order your meal, this will give your stomach a little less room and I have found it makes me eat LESS of whatever I order.

Make careful menu choices!  Be sure to read the description of each meal.  Dishes that are deep-fried, pan-fried, basted, batter-dipped, breaded, creamy, crispy, scalloped, alfredo, au gratin, or in cream sauce are usually higher in calories, unhealthy fats, or sodium.  Try to order items with more vegetables and something with leaner meats.  If you don't like a lot of veggies, find a veggie you are really fond of and order extra of this vegetable.  The nutrients in the veggies will fill you up and make you eat less of the "bad stuff".

Specialize your order!  Most all fast food menu item are unhealthy, but they offer the chance to change your order, so TAKE IT!  Ask for your vegetables and main dishes to be served without sauce, or sauce on the side.  Ask for olive oil and vinegar for your salad or order the dressing on the side and spoon only a small amount on at a time, or you can dip it!  If your food is fried or cooked in oil or butter, ask to have it broiled or steamed.  Also, "undress" your food.  When choosing items, be aware of calorie and fat backed salad dressings, spreads, cheese, sour cream, etc.  For example, ask for a grilled chicken sandwich without the mayonnaise.  Use packets of ketchup or mustard and add it yourself to control how much is put on your sandwich.  Just these little changes drop the calorie and fat intake more that you realize!

Eat mindfully!  Pay attention to what you eat and savor each bite.  Make sure to chew your food more thoroughly instead of scarfing it down quickly.  Try counting as you chew!  Being mindful also means stopping before you are full.  It takes time for your body to register that you have eaten.  Mindful eating relaxes you, so you digest better, and makes you feel more satisfied.

There are always things you should AVOID eating at fast food restaurants!

Supersized portions!  An average fast food meal can account for up to 1000 calories or more, so choose a smaller portion size!  Try a kids meal, that way you still get the burger are fries you were wanting, but you don't feel guilty about eating it!  Try ordering a salad or fruit option instead of fries.  Most of all, DON'T SUPERSIZE ANYTHING!  At a typical restaurant, a single serving provides enough for two meals.  Take half home or divide the portion with a dining partner!  You will be satisfied, and won't intake the extra calories and fat you DON'T need.

Salt!  Try to stay away from high sodium items.  High sodium intake can lead to many ailments such as high blood pressure and even heart disease.  Don't add insult to injury by adding more salt to a meal that is already high in sodium!  Salt also makes it harder for your body to digest and you hold water weight!

Bacon!  Yes, kill me now!  Bacon is a tempting add on to an already unhealthy meal, but by just by not adding that bacon, you keep a lot of unneeded calories, sodium, and fat!  It's always tempting to add bacon to sandwiches and salads for extra flavor, but bacon has very few nutrients.  Instead, try ordering extra pickles, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, or mustard to add flavor without the fat.

Buffets!  You'll likely overeat to get your money's worth so why stress it, just don't go to a buffet!  If you do choose buffet dining, opt for fresh fruits, salads with olive oil & vinegar or low-fat dressing, broiled entrees, and steamed vegetables.  Resist the temptation to go for seconds, or wait at least 20 minutes after eating to make sure you're really still hungry before going back for more.

Here's a good carry around cheat sheet!  Try your best to follow this simple list and you will be eating healthy while still getting what you crave from fast food!

Healthier fast food at burger chains

Less Healthy Choices
1. Double-patty hamburger with cheese, mayo, special sauce, and bacon
2. Fried chicken sandwich
3. Fried fish sandwich
4. Salad with toppings such as bacon, cheese, and ranch dressing
5. Breakfast burrito with steak
6. French fries
7. Milkshake
8. Chicken nuggets or tenders
9. Adding cheese, extra mayo, and special sauce

Healthier Choices
1. Regular, singe-patty hamburger without mayo or cheese
2. Grilled chicken sandwich
3. Veggie burger
4. Garden salad with grilled chicken and lo-fat dressing
5. Egg on a muffin
6. Baked potato or a side salad
7. Yogurt parfait
8. Grilled chicken strips
9. Limiting cheese, mayo, and special sauce

Healthier fast food at fried chicken chains.

Less healthy choices.
1. Fried chicken, original or extra-crispy
2. Teriyaki wings or popcorn chicken
3. Caesar Salad
4. Chicken and biscuit bowl
5. Adding extra gravy and sauces

Healthier choices
1. Skinless chicken breast without breading
2. Honey BBQ chicken sandwich
3. Garden salad
4. Mashed potatoes
5. Limiting gravy and sauces

Healthy fast food: Mexican chains

Less healthy choices

1. Crispy shell chicken taco
2. Refried beans
3. Steak chalupa
4. Crunch wraps or gordita-type burritos
5. Nachos with refried beans
6. Adding sour cream or cheese

Healthier choices

1. Grilled chicken soft taco
2. Black beans
3. Shrimp ensalada
4. Grilled "fresco" style steak burrito
5. Veggie and bean burrito
6. Limiting sour cream or cheese

Healthy fast food: Sub sandwich chains

Less healthy choices
1. Foot-long sub
2. High-fat meat such as ham, tuna salad, bacon, meatballs, or steak
3. The "normal" amount of higher-fat (cheddar, american) cheese
4. Adding mayo and special sauces
5. Keeping the sub "as is" with all toppings
6. Choosing white bread or "wraps" which are often higher in fat than normal bread

Healthier choices
1. Six-inch sub
2. Lean meat (roast beef, chicken breast, lean ham) or veggies
3. One or two slices of lower-fat cheese (swiss or mozzarella)
4. Adding low-fat dressing or mustard instead of mayo
5. Adding extra veggie toppings
6. Choosing whole-grain bread or taking the top slice off your sub and eating it open-faced

Healthy Asian Food

Less healthy choices
1. Fried egg rolls, spare ribs, tempura
2. Battered or deep fried dishes (sweet and sour pork, general Tso's chicken)
3. Deep fried tofu
4. Coconut milk, sweet and sour sauce, regular soy sauce
5. Fried rice
6. Salad with fried or crispy noodles

Healthier choices
1. Egg drop, miso, wonton, or hot and sour soup
2. Stir-fried, steamed, roasted, or broiled entrees (shrimp chow mein, chop suey)
3. Steamed or baked tofu
4. Sauces such as ponzu, rice-wine vinegar, wasabi, ginger, and low-sodium soy sauce
5. Steamed brown rice
6. Edamame, cucumber salad, stir-fried veggies

Italian and Pizza Restaurant Choices

Less healthy choices
1. Thick-cruse or buttered-crust pizza with extra cheese and meat toppings
2. Garlic bread
3. Antipasto with meat
4. Pasta with cream or butter-based sauce
5. Entree with side of pasta
6. Fried ("frito") dishes

Healthier choices
1. Thin-cruse pizza with half the cheese and extra veggies
2. Plain rolls or breadsticks
3. Antipasto with veggies
4. Pasta with tomato sauce and veggies
5. Entree with side of veggies
6. Grilled ("griglia") dishes

There you go!  This covers most all of the fast food and restaurants you could possibly dream of eating at!  Even changing just a few things about a meal can make it go from extremely unhealthy to a meal that is not going to make you fret!  Eating healthy doesn't mean you have to give up eating everything "good" in a meal! It just means being more conscious about the amount and type of foods you are taking in!
So go have that tasty burger!  But try to make it a meal that you are proud of!
Have your cake, and eat it too!

Pleasing Others WONT Please You

As humans, we have the urge to please others.  We all want to be liked, and we want to impress others.  Although you will eventually learn that pleasing others isn't going to please you!

We worry about what others think of us, we are imposed by others views, and I would be willing to bet money that you have let someone's opinion change your mind on a decision you've been faced with.  At some point, you have to understand the point where pleasing others is hurting you.  But where is the line between caring what others think and being obsessed with others perceptions of us?
There are some people who care so much about what others think, they are willing to give up their own views, and personality, in order to manipulate what others think of them.  This type of behavior can be categorized as codependency.  I believe if you are willing to give up yourself for the feelings of others, you are practicing a codependent behavior which can become very unhealthy very quickly!
True happiness doesn't come from others.  The only you can be truly happy with others is by being happy with yourself!  So why waste all that effort trying to change yourself for others?  You have to live life for yourself!  It's okay to accept others views and opinions, but these aspects shouldn't completely change the person you are!

In school, they always talk about peer pressure.  How you shouldn't make decisions unless you are comfortable with your decisions.  How not to let our PEERS PRESSURE us into situations or views.  Maybe we just need to revert to our childhoods and realize that it's the same lesson, just presented in our adult lives.
Everyone has their set "ways".  The way you do laundry, the way you clean, even the way you dress.  Lets say you never wear sandals.  You go through your whole life hating sandals!  You don't like the way they feel, fit, or look.  You start seeing, or even just spending time with, someone who lived on the beach their whole life and wears sandals daily, never owned a pair of tennis shoes!  All this person talks about is how great sandals are and how he/she doesn't realize how you have gone so long without owning a pair.  After 3 months of spending time with this person, you end up owning 10 pairs of sandals!  You went your whole life without wearing sandals, and now after 3 months of peer pressure, you are buying them like they are going out of style!  This is a codependent behavior.  You have the feeling that if you don't give into the peer pressure, maybe this person won't like you anymore, so you go out of your way, change something you never thought you would, and become just like this new friend.
This is where human logic is flawed.  We are so worried about what others think, what others feel, and what others believe, that we forget we were given the power to choose what WE want to.  We were given the ability to feel, think, and believe and we do everything we can to make our views the same as others.
It's okay to want to please others, but you have to understand when it is going too far.  When you are sacrificing your own personal well being, it's time to step back and take a good look from the outside.

Here are some tips to help you balance pleasing others while still pleasing yourself!

Think of five times when you did or said something that did not truly reflect your wants and needs, in order to please someone else.  Write them down.  Now look back and think of how you could have handled the situations.  What is the worst that could have happened?  This list will help you realize that even if you made the opposite decision, you would have been okay!  If not better with your OWN decision!

Look at your fears.  Are they even realistic or truly that terrible?  You may be afraid that nobody will like you or that you are going to lose someone close to you, maybe even be all alone if you don't say, or do, the right thing.  None of this is ever true!  This is a prison that you have trapped yourself in.  Unlock those doors!  Your peers may be used to your compliance, but if they're not willing to accept that you have your own needs, are they really worth having in your life?

Examine your ability to set limits on others.  You have to determine your boundaries.  What do you believe is acceptable behavior and what is unacceptable?  Figure out what you can tolerate and what is intolerable.  Learn how to identify and label unacceptable treatment from others and how to set limits on their behavior when they violate your boundaries.

Consider the source.  Many people who feel the need to please were raised in environments wherein their needs or feelings were pushed aside or not considered.  They were probably expected to anticipate and mold themselves to everyone else's needs.  Newsflash, not all the world wants a pushover!  Focusing on pleasing others, opens yourself to manipulation and abuse.  You will never reach your full potential as an individual if you constantly hide behind others' expectations!

Stop basing your self-worth on how much you do for other people.  It's noble to want to help others, but it's something you should do because you WANT to, not because you feel you HAVE to!  The greatest acts of kindness are those done by choice, not out of guilt or fear.  If you are doing something because you feel you have to, is the action really genuine?  Would you want someone to help you because they felt obligated or because they were just trying to be kind?

Learn how to say no!  Don't make up excused, give your reasons for not wanting something. Lets say your best friend wants you to go with him/her to a party that will be full of people you can't stand.  A simple "no thank you.  It's just not my scene." will not ruin your friendship!  Be polite, but say no and mean it!  You'll be surprised that the world is NOT going to collapse around you!  People rarely take offense, and those that do aren't worth pleasing.  Like they say, "those who mind, don't matter and those who matter, don't mind.".

Ask for what you want.  If you and your friend are going to see a movie, and most people want to see a particular movie, but you'd rather see something else, SPEAK UP!  There's nothing wrong with voicing your opinion, and it doesn't mean you have to be demanding.  Simply reminding people that you're an individual with your own preferences is a big step forward.  Even asking someone to help you do something is a good step forward.  You also have to realize that people can't read your mind!  If you feel that you do so much for others, but they don't do anything for you, maybe it's because you don't express your needs or desires.  It's not fair to make people pry for an answer from you.  If they ask you what you want, or if there's anything they can do, put in your ten cents!

Do something for yourself!  Do something that you have wanted to do for a while, maybe something you are afraid someone else will not like.  Dye your hair, get a new look, have a treat that you enjoy!  Whatever it is, do it for YOU!  Practice not worrying what anyone else thinks.  Tell yourself, "WOW this is great!".  Don't get caught up in doing things just because no one else wants to do them.  Remember that there out to be things that you truly want to do for yourself, regardless of what anyone else thinks, not in spite of it.  Its okay for other people's opinions to be a factor in our lives, but they should never be the determining factor.

Compromise.  While it is not good to be a pushover, it is not good to be a manipulative bully either.  Don't become totally selfish.  Many people-pleasers have low self-esteem but then again, so do people who are selfish.  It is best to develop good self-care skills which include healthy assertiveness skills.  You can listen to others, but ultimately, what you do is YOUR choice.  Keep a healthy balance.

You have to remember, the only one you are living life for is YOU!

"Thinspiration"

Okay, So to tell you the truth, I was going to skip blogging today because I was hoping my readers could give me some ideas of what they would like to see in my future blogs.  But then I opened yahoo news and saw this, for lack of better word, SHIT article about promoting anorexia photos. . . After you all take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor, yes, you read that right.  PRO-ANOREXIA!  Apparently, now it is okay to be anorexic!
Here is the Article! 
If you'd like to read for yourself!
I've never heard of this 'thinspiration' stuff so of course I had to google it.  I found quotes like "the longer you put it off by 'starting tomorrow' the longer you will have to wait to be skinny."  . . . . Really?!  THAT is supposed to inspire people to quit eating and become skinny?
The pictures on the blogs I found were disgusting!  Women who were once healthy, now proud to be so rail thin that their bones are actually popping out!  Poor girls probably hurt to even smile they are so thin!  And society is saying its OKAY to promote this?!
I don't have any children yet, but I know that if my baby girl came up to me and said she is going to stop eating because she wants to look like one of these 'thinspiration' models, I would probably come unglued!
"Thinspiration- inspiration for a thinner society.".  I can't believe they are really trying to promote this!  Just because you are thin doesn't mean you are healthy!  Who gives a rats ass if society is "thin"?  Shoudn't we be more worried about the health of society?  I would rather live in a world of HEALTHY people than a world full of bad makeup zombie look a likes.....

I understand that they are trying to promote weight loss and if they were doing it the right way, towards the right groups, I would applaud them.  But showing pictures of girls who are already thin, then showing their "amazing transformation" into an anorexic toothpick, is not inspiring to me.  It's actually quite sad.

"Do it for the skinny fingers" . . . Really?  Do you see anywhere on there that says "DO IT TO BE HEALTHY"?  I don't!
I wear a bikini!  I wear tank tops, shorts, miniskirts, and jeans.  Yes, my thighs touch, I guess I have fat fingers, and yes people stare already.  Guess I am half way there!
I am beautiful!  I am happy!  I am healthy!
I am beginning to think anorexia is the least of our problems as a society!  I think we are borderline, if not full blown, IGNORANT!
Society is to the point where it is going to PROMOTE anorexia, a HORRIBLE, life threatening DISEASE, in order to make people skinny.  But yet there is a fast food chain within stones throw from you at any given time.  Wouldn't it be much easier to maybe, make healthier foods at fast food chains rather than promote a disease for health?

I don't understand how anyone could feel comfortable trying to promote something like this!  It really makes me sick!  Oh, look guys, I could just become anorexic and then go buy skinny jeans!  PERFECT! . . .
THIS is what your children are going to see as "beautiful".  I'm sorry, I will be the first to say, I refuse to live in a society full of this.....

That is disgusting!  There is NOTHING healthy about having a body like this!  The poor woman looks like she could fall apart in the slightest wind!  For the love of God, how could anyone in their right mind feel like it is okay to promote?

I came across this add.  "I just want to hear those words, 'have you lost weight?'"  Okay, take a second and look at this girl.  Do you think she needs to lose weight?  I go back to my previous statement, I am not upset they are trying to promote weight loss.  I just don't comprehend why they would try to target people who really have no need to do anything but gain a little weight!  If this girl pictured lost any more weight, I for one would be worried she was sick!

I had to read more into this whole "thinspiration" epidemic.  While doing so, I came across this quote.
"Thinspiration, for many, is part of identifying with their eating disorder. They are often aware that they have an eating disorder, but seek things that will validate and justify the choices they make based on the struggle they have with their eating disorder."
So not only are we going to promote having an eating disorder, now we're going to help people along with their eating disorder showing them how "beautiful" they will be if they continue on with their DISEASE!
It's funny because I remember in middle school and high school, when the topic of eating disorders came up in health class, we would talk about how you should seek help for such a thing.  Now, in just a few short years, society has decided that an eating disorder is no longer a 'disorder' but now a healthy choice because it will make you skinny!

I can't even continue this topic anymore.  I am so disgusted.  I just wanted everyone to know what was out there in today's world!  People saying if you are sick, you can become happy!
So I leave you with this.

Thinspiration can kiss my WELL ROUNDED ass!