Hey Now...Big Guys Need More Love Too!!!!

After sharing my blog with everyone I know, I was commented "Okay, your blogs are geared to the women.  What about the fat guys?"

So, I think today we are going to talk about men!  

By both request of a good friend, Bryan Allison and to broaden my readers I'd like to discuss the subject of overweight men and the affects it has on their lives!

Now, I will openly admit, I never though men had the mental and physical issues that women have!  I was actually a little shocked that my dear friend expressed these feelings to me.  From a woman's perspective, we view men . . . well, let me explain in picture! 

I know, personally, this is what I think most men see and feel about themselves.  I was told by Bryan "I am very insecure due to a lack of acceptance."  I was honestly pretty shocked by this.  He is a very handsome man!  I never saw his weight and I guess I just expected that it was like that for all men.  We just see men.  Furthermore, the longer I thought about it, the more I began to understand.  

Men feel insecure too!  They spend day after day in the gym trying to pull off that six-pack, sneak in the tanning booth to keep golden brown, and even go as far as to having hair plugs when they begin to loose a little hair.  

After talking to Bryan to try to understand the insecurities of men, he began to tell me his problems go further than just a feeling with himself, but also with work.  When I expressed to him my thought that larger men are accepted much more than larger women he explained to me that when looking for a job even, bigger men are misconstrued as "lazy".  I have known Bryan for quite a few years now, and the word lazy doesn't fit him at all!  He is a smart, handsome, hard working man!  So what, he's a few pounds overweight, he is a good hard worker!  

"Fat does not equal lazy and unproductive.  I work more than my in shape counter parts and put in more effort because I am expected to fail because of my size.  I refuse to ever let that happen." -Bryan Allison

This is a great point!  But why does society go straight to a bad opinion of someone who is a little over weight?  It almost seems like they are trying to set you up for failure.  

Like I said before, I sincerely wasn't aware that there were men who had these esteem issues but I would like to try to help them the best I can from a female perspective.  

I want to ask, why should you have to work so much harder for acceptance with both peers and workforce?  If you do your job well, should it really matter how much you weigh?  

Let me try to give you overweight, or even just insecure, men some tips to help you feel better about yourself and better about life!  

First, its simple really, smile more!  Practice your smile!  Even if someone notices your size first, put a huge, handsome grin on your face and I can assure you, they are going to be drawn to that smile!  Practice your smile!  Look at yourself in the mirror, smile, and say to yourself "I am a handsome and kind man!"  If you feel good about yourself, you aren't going to let anything or anyone get you down!

Second, keep yourself groomed up all nice!  Women, and people in general, will see how clean shaven your face is, or how your hair always looks the perfect length, your skin is smooth.  If everyone sees how well you take care of yourself, they are bound to treat you like you treat yourself, with kindness and respect.

Third, indulge yourself!  Just like women, I feel that men need to indulge every once in a while.  Do something that makes you feel good!  Go get a mani/pedi!  You'd be surprised how many men do this!  It feels amazing and will also go along with tip number two!

Forth tip is from Bryan who says "Rock your size!  Be big and proud!"  If you love yourself in all of your glory, people are going to see this confidence and it will change their mind on all of the stereotypes they automatically thought when they first meet you.

Fifth, and probably most important, STAY POSITIVE!  If you keep thinking you are going to have a more difficult time because you are a big man, guess what?  You ARE going to have a more difficult time!   If you just stay positive in everything you do, you WILL succeed!  Shout it to the heavens "I'M PROUD OF WHO I AM!!!"

The last tip is to help in the work situations.  If you are worried about having issues getting a job or landing an interview because of your size, try networking with those who know how awesome you are!  You'd be surprised how far a good reference will go!
So now I am going to challenge my men readers!  Go out into the world, put on your smile, your fresh shave, new hair cut, wear your best outfit, and show them what you are made of!  Be proud of that gut!

Because in the end, a keg goes a LOT further than a little six pack!
I hope this has made all you handsome big men get into your groove!  I want to end with thanking my dear friend Bryan Allison for first, giving me the idea to write for the men also, and for helping me understand how he, as well as a number of other men, are affected by these same issues!
"Do not define me by what you see.  Define me by my actions." -Bryan Allison